Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Who would've thunk?

You may or may not remember that little race I signed up for....yeah it's in 23 days!!!!!!

Oh how I don't feel ready. I am not running 4-5 times a week like I probably should be....BUT, I am working out 4-6 days a week. I've recently discovered zumba and ZOMG!!! It is freaking AWESOME!!! I love it! The class I am doing right now is only for a 6 week stent, but I am hoping she will extend it (it's at my church and this is her first class to teach) but she's added a new class at a local gym but the time of day is really bad for me. So, for now, I am doing that for an hour every Thursday night. I work out on Friday mornings to Jillian Michael's 30-day Shred--it's also awesome! Saturday has been my running day, Sunday is Pilates. Monday is usually rest or walk or bike ride. Tuesday is either run/walk/or bike. Wednesday is rest or run. I'm really trying to get in 5 days a week of SOME form of organized exercise and then also be active the rest of the day (when I am not working). I've had some mental blocks to overcome too with my running.

I set out on Saturday (4/10/10) to do 7 miles. I got up early, carb loaded the night before, suited up, grabbed my CamelPak, and my cell phone and off I went. Honestly, I didn't think I would make it. I had a landmark to run to and then turn around and come home. I never in a million years thought I could do it. In the past few of my runs, I've had this mental wall hit me at about 45 minutes. "You can't do this, are you crazy? you are not a runner." Those types of things...this time I revved up my iPod so I would have awesome songs at the 45 minute mark--IT WORKED!!! But then I hit that wall at the 1 hour mark. Oh it was awful! I really wanted to finish in an hour and a half or less. I ended up walking more towards the end than I had been, but you know what? I DID IT!!! I made it back home in an hour and 32 minutes. If I had kept up my running, I would have made it home faster. I couldn't believe I did it! I was on cloud 9. When I was in the shower, I kept telling myself that I did it and it was AWESOME!! I felt so awesome. I thought my pace was horrendous but I got a new Nike+ and it's not as bad as I thought it was. I have been running for 5 minutes, walking for 1 or 2 minutes. During the running time, I will hit the button to tell me my pace and low and behold it's around 10 something. I couldn't believe it!!! So I don't suck after all. :)

So who would've thunk? ME?!?! ME?!?! I am becoming a runner. I will not say (yet) that I am a runner, but holy cow does it feel good!

I went out last night and did about 3 miles--why does the first mile have to suck so bad?? After that I was fine but man that first mile was TORTURE!!! I burned 455 calories and I wanted to come home and eat Thin Mints but I didn't. I had some strawberries and FF Cool Whip--it was awesome.

A few weeks ago I contemplated giving up on this half marathon race. I debated transferring out and giving someone else my bib number...but I didn't. And now? Now, I really think--NO--I KNOW I can do this! It may not be pretty, it may not be great, but I will do it. I will finish and I will be PROUD!!! I will be my own superhero.

Now, if only I could get my DIET to coincide with all the exercise I am doing. It's not awful, but it's too much of the good stuff. I'm really trying to reign that in this week. Although the scale has dropped 4# since Monday morning--but that was after a weekend of eating out a lot, not as much water, too much coke zero. So I am feeling balanced right now--right this second. I have control right now.

Okay, my thoughts are out of my head and on 'paper'. I feel better now. :) I hope whoever is out there reading has a GREAT day. Get up and get moving!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Why be normal?

When I was in high school, I had a shirt that said Why be Normal? So, here I am 31 years old and being different is a GOOD thing.

Here's my thoughts....

Do you ever feel like an outcast or an your own family? Like they are in a clique and you are not part of it? What's wrong with being different? What's wrong with living life differently than they do?

What's wrong with wanting financial peace?

What's wrong with despising credit?

What's wrong with enjoying exercise and being active?

What's wrong with not wanting to eat fast food?

What's wrong with not drinking soda or sweet tea, kool-aid or lemonade?

So what that I am not super skinny--*I* am beautiful in my own way--and I KNOW this. I don't need breast implants to be happy. I don't have to be super skinny to be happy either. My mom tells me all the time that I'd be pretty if I lost weight--something would look better on me if I lost 20#. I don't need her or anyone else to feel like I am loved. People wonder why we don't travel to visit our family more than we do now and this is why.


And you know what? We are okay with that! We don't feel welcome with our own family b/c we are so different from them--our way of thinking is so very different.

We visited family for the Easter holiday and we learned a lot while we were there. Feelings were hurt (mine) and no one seems to care (which isn't anything new). I've always been the Cinderella in my family. My mom's own BFF will tell you that. My sister (J) is the favorite, my sister (M) is the baby, and my brother (also an M) is the boy. But you know what? I'm learning to accept this and that it's OKAY. I will never be super skinny like J is and to my mom--that's all she cares about. She doesn't think of my boys--only herself. She doesn't keep toys at her house for my boys that they can play with outside--so we hear DS1 complain NONSTOP about how bored he is...and if you are a parent--this drives you nuts!!!

One day, they might see the light. They might see our way of thinking. But for now, it's okay that we are different. Right now, we are living like no one else so that later we can live like no one else.

I don't live my life to please my mom or any of my family for that matter. I live to please God and to serve him and my family. My husband and my boys mean the WORLD to me. I go to sleep thinking of them and I wake up thinking of them. They are my life. Behind God--they come first. I strive to make them happy--to be a good mom and an even better wife.

So...what's wrong with being different?


Tell me--are YOU different from those closest to you?