I think it's time I started to embrace the things that suck about my body right now. Yes, this is a whiney post. But I haven't done one in a VERY long time, so here goes.
Right now, my body sucks. I love that it has now grown 2 children and is currently nuturing DS2 with my milk. I love that. What I don't like is how MOST women who breastfeed don't have a period the entire time....well I am not even 6 weeks post partum yet and I THINK mine is trying to come back. WTF?!?! With DS1, it came back at 7 weeks but at that point I had started to give up breastfeeding with him, so I understood THEN. But now?!? We're going strong and it's going pretty good so I shouldn't be having a period. Grrr....
Why is it that most women who breast feed the weight just melts off of them? But me? I'm gaining! WTF?!? I have a friend who is BFing her baby (she's 9 months old now) and she can't gain weight...it's just coming off of her. AND she is one of these people who does NOT need to lose weight. She's trying to gain and she can't! SO NOT FAIR!!! She eats full fat cheese, drinks whole milk, NOTHING low fat or low cal EVER and she can't gain weight. UGH. It's people like that who drive me nuts. Why can't *I* be that way? Why can't the weight melt off of me!?! For once, why can't something go the way it should with my body???
I'm even on Synthroid for my whacked out thyroid and I'm still not losing. It's sooo unfair! I even had a "controlled" gain with this pregnancy. My goal was 39# or less...I gained 38. The recommended gain is 25-35, so I was just fine with 38. Most of my "fat" clothes still don't fit, yes I did get into a pair of capris the other day but they were tight. I wore them b/c I am so sick of maternity clothes. And a shirt? Forget it. My boobs are DD now (was a C before I got pregnant) and I am fine with the boobs...but in order to wear a shirt it has to be an XL, so I wear a lot of DH T-shirts.
I'm just having a bad body image day. I soooo hate my hair and I can't wait to cut it off but I have told myself not until I get to 159. I feel like I will NEVER get there! I go back to the doctor next week for my check up and I plan to ask her a few questions then. But I know the answers to most of them. I have to keep telling myself "you just had a baby" but some days that doesn't make it any better!
BUT...I am trying to embrace it. Notice I said TRYING?? Yeah, it's been real hard today. I NEED to go buy some clothes that fit and make me feel better but I just hate to spend the $$$ when they hopefully won't fit for very long. I need to just let it go and know that I am feeding another human being so I should just let that be the #1 priority right now. But it's so very hard. Ahhh....
Sorry for the whiney/bitchy post, but I needed to get this off my chest. I promise my next post will be a happier one. :)