Weight gain, feeling better, and a poem

Okay, had my check up this morning. All is well. But I have now officially entered the 200's. (sob, sob, sob!!!) BUT...I was also told I am AGAIN measuring 3 weeks ahead. So I think most of that was fluid (can you say SWOLLEN?) and baby. B/c I really haven't been eating THAT much! I gained almost 4# in two weeks. There are some nights where I am so swollen that my CROCS are tight! Yowzers!

I am feeling better. I am still stopped up, but I shoot the nasal spray when I can and that SEEMS to help. Thanks for all the good thoughts!

I am still very far behind in my reading. Please forgive me...I hope to catch up this weekend or the first part of next week!!!

Finally, here is the poem I have been wanting to post forever. I re-did it a little bit to go towards my DS more.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 3-year-old hand,
basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he/she is born, and I watch you.

I watch the pain you feel at having to share me
as you've never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way,
"Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine,
"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.

I almost see our new baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing,
I find myself attached to that new being,
and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him (or her) -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change,
first to curiosity,
then to protectiveness,
finally to genuine affection.
More days pass,
and we are settling into a new routine.

The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow,
the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he/she adores you -- as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his/her new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,
I've given something to you.

I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
I now know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.
I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


Author Unknown

34 weeks, sickness, and mealtime battles

Easter Sunday marked 34 weeks for me. YAY!!!! But man I feel HUGE!!! We ventured south to see the family for the weekend. I think that may have been a mistake. I made a new rule while we were gone. If there is a baby #3, there will be NO TRAVELING once I hit the 3rd trimester. I was just too uncomfortable, the bed I slept in was horrid, and I just didn't want to be there. We did have a great time and DS had a blast with all the egg hunts he did. But it was so darn cold!!! I do have a picture to post of me taken on Sunday...I'll get that up once I track down my camera..... where did I put that?!? ;)

I woke up last Thursday morning with a tickle in my nose. Well, Friday I felt a little worse, Saturday a little worse than Friday, Sunday was awful and on Monday I called in sick to work b/c I felt like I had been run over by a truck! Oh this sucks. And being pregnant with this sickness sucks even more b/c I can't take anything! I did get approval for Sudafed and some Robitussin but that's it. None of the good stuff...Nyquil, Dayquil, etc... BUT, on the upside, I feel much better today than I did yesterday, so that's a plus. I am back to work today too so that's good. I don't know if this is a cold or what, but either way, I feel for anyone who has had it! It's awful!!! I made it through the entire winter without getting sick and on the first day of spring I come down with this. That's not even fair!!

Okay...any seasoned veteran parents out there? I need your help! We are having the WORST mealtime battles with DS. It doesn't matter what I make..."I don't like it." And then we proceed to battle with him to just try it. He doesn't get a choice at dinner time b/c I REFUSE to make 2 different meals. Besides, what I am making is usually healthy and good for you...but he won't even try it. So then he starts in talking back to us, which leads to a time out. Then we portion off his food "just eat this much" and sometimes he will, sometimes he won't. If he doesn't eat, he gets NOTHING after dinner and we are pretty firm on that one. I think the problem is that for breakfast I ask him "What do you want for breakfast?" And I usually get back a good response...cereal, waffles, oatmeal, yogurt, today it was strawberries. And when he's home with me for lunch, I usually give him options too, but at dinner he doesn't get options. So is this why he acts like this? If we asked him every night what he wanted for dinner we would get the same response every night--CHEESEBURGERS! I swear that boy is going to turn into a cheeseburger. Any tips or advice out there for me?? Last week, we made Roni's Parmesan Crusted Tilapia, which he has had before and LOVED, and last week he wouldn't even touch it. Is it the age (almost 4)?? I don't know, but I am at the end of my rope with this battle every night.

Oh and I am VERY far behind in my reading. I think I have something like 80 posts to catch up on. I'm working on it, so give me some time. :)

I better get back to it. Break is over! I'll check back later!

Where has the time gone?!?

Okay, seriously (my how I miss Grey's!), this last week has FLOWN by. Actually, the last 3 weeks have flown by. I have no idea why time seems to be traveling faster now than it was, but man it feels like I just posted my 32 weeks pictures yesterday!

So this weekend, my mom came for a visit and I got ALL of my kitchen cabinets cleaned out--everything taken out, cabinet wiped down inside and out, and everything put back in. Even my FiestaWare that is up as part of the decor got washed in the dishwasher. It feels SO GOOD to get that done and checked off my list. I am going to make an appointment to get my van detailed next week at Ziebart so that will be checked off too. Oh I can't wait. DH says to me "You know the baby isn't going to care if we have clean kitchen cabinets or not. Nor will he or she care if the carpets in your van get shampooed (sp?)." I was like YES THEY WILL! These are things that I have wanted done for a very long time...nesting is just a good excuse to get it all done! :) I need to clean out DS bathroom vanity and the spare one (part of a Jack N Jill bathroom) and all will be done. Oh I can't wait.

Then...I get to start packing my bag for the hospital. That's one thing I am looking forward to doing. I just can't believe how close we are. YAY!!

I had a dream last night....this time in my dream the baby is a boy! ARGH!!!! I wish my brain could make a decision about what it is and just let me keep having the same gender dream over and over. DS has finally gotten it straightened out that brothers are boys and sisters are girls. For the longest time he has said brothers are girls and sisters are boys. Somehow my mom got him straightened out on that. Thanks mom! :)

I still haven't posted that darn poem. I can't get to the home computer right now and that's where it's at. Ack...maybe later this week. :)

Went to the doc on Friday. All looks well. Thankfully, my growth is slowing down. I was 32 weeks and 5 days at that point and I was measuring about 34, so that's good. AND...I only gained 1.2 pounds in 2 weeks. That's a good thing. But man...the next time I go to the doctor (3/29) on their scales I will be in the 200s. Oh that will hurt. But I can handle it. With DS, I hit that point but it wasn't until a little bit later on. Oh well. I don't like those doctor's scales either! I think I finally hit the 30# mark too. I forget what my home scale said last week.

Since my mom was in town this weekend, DH and I went out Saturday night. We went to a friend's house and just hung out. We did not get home until 3:30 in the morning!!! NOT a good idea when you have to work the next day AND you are growing a human. I needed to work 10 hours on Sunday...I got in 7. I was pretty darn happy with that. I worked 12 hours today and I'll work 12 tomorrow. After that I should be good to go for the week. I'm off Thursday and Friday and I can't wait! I hope to finish up in the baby's room on Thursday and then Friday we are heading out to visit family for the Easter holiday. This will be our last trip down there as a family of 3. WOO HOO!!!

I will be glad to turn this back into a weight loss blog and have loyal readers again...if I haven't lost them all yet. :) I am ready to see the scales go down and make goals and achieve them. And have my cheering section there the whole way. I am still cooking point friendly meals, it's just the other stuff in between. I am really hoping my sweet tooth stops after I deliver. I've NEVER had a sweet tooth like this before. Ice cream is a weekly thing for me right now. I guess that's good...at least it's not a daily thing! I won't keep it in the house b/c I know I'd be into it every day if I did!!! Once I get nursing established, I will be back to counting points and exercising (I hope so anyway!).

DH and I are really considering trying to go all organic in our food. We are looking into purchasing half a cow to stock our freezer. And hopefully a pig too. We are starting to talk about our garden for this year and I think it's going to be even bigger this year than last. YAY!! And we might can veggies for the year with stuff from our garden. I recently found a website that will deliver organic produce to my door every week. If I had that, plus the cow and pig in the freezer, and the milk delivered as well, I would NEVER have to go to the store again! Wouldn't that be awesome?!?! I don't know about anyone else, but grocery shopping is my LEAST favorite chore out there. I'd rather dust and scrub toilets than go to the store! And I HATE to dust. And I don't do toilets either! We are really concerned about the hormones and stuff that's used in food these days. So we're researching and hoping to make the transition soon. At least I am...I think he's on board with it too, so I am happy with that.

I am headed to bed. After Saturday night, I slept in this morning but need to get to bed at a decent time tonight too. I hope everyone is doing well. :) Have a great week!

32 weeks!

I CAN NOT BUH-LEEV IT!

Wow! That's all I have to say. These last 2 weeks have FLOWN by! Since I kinda have an idea of when this baby is going to be "evicted" I think that makes it that much worse! I have a list of things I want to get done and this weekend I didn't even scrape the top of what I wanted to get done. It's okay, b/c it's not a long list. And I think (and hope) my mom is coming up next weekend and agreed to help me with the one big project I want to accomplish--cleaning out my kitchen cabinets. This entails taking everything out of each cabinet and drawer, wiping everything down/out, then putting it all back in. It's a HUGE task that I KNOW I can't do all by myself. DH thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do this, but it's something that's been nagging me for a while now. Baby's room is about 85% done. I can't wait to get finished up in there either. But with the anticipation of knowing the date and all...I can't help but to count my weekends. UGH. And I think we have 3 left where it will just be the 3 of us. SCARY!!!

Here are some shots DH took tonight. In the bottom one, DS was supposed to be kissing my belly...instead it looks like he's eating it! LOL!!! I feel huge and I can't imagine getting any bigger than I already am, but I know I will.



I was thinking tonight about the things I can't wait for after this pregnancy. Here's my list:

1. My feet--since I can't see them.
2. Having more than 3 pairs of pants to wear--I only have 3 pairs left and they are ALL black. Once it warms up and I can wear capris, it will be better. I get tired of wearing black all the time.
3. Shopping in a regular store again, in a regular section. I'm TIRED of maternity clothes!
4. A margarita!
5. Seeing the scale go down instead of up.
6. Being able to go up and down the stairs without losing my breath and huffing and puffing afterwards (baby is in my ribs so I think this is in part why).
7. Being able to bend over and tie my shoes...crocs are becoming a staple.
8. Pretty and comfortable bras! Maternity and nursing bras are UGLY! Why do they all have to be white?!?! But this won't come until I am done nursing...hoping for 6 months, if not more. And when searching for a nursing bra, you are either BIG and a DDD, or small. I need a 36DDD or F and can't find it ANYWHERE! And I NEED support! I don't want my boobs touching my belly! ARGH!! This was the reason for a crying fit earlier today. DH, of course, thinks it's hilarious. He LOVES the big boobs!
9. Knowing what this baby is! I can't wait to meet him or her!
10. Being able to lay on my BELLY! I can't wait until I can do that again.

Okay so that's my list of things I can't wait for. Here's my list of things I will miss/love:

1. My belly. I LOVE my pregnant belly. I love touching it, holding it, just the roundness of it. LOVE it!
2. Being able to eat pretty much whatever I want. I know this will come to an end soon.
3. The constant boxing ring action I feel. I love feeling the movement inside me. LOVE it!
4. Having my baby with me constantly and knowing that I can protect him or her at all times RIGHT NOW. Once it comes out, I can do my best, but I won't always be able to protect him or her the way I can today.
5. DS has 100% of my attention...I'm scared to death of not devoting enough time to him, but I have ideas on how to incorporate him into feeding and changing time.
6. This may sound conceited....but the ATTENTION! Any time I say ow or make a face, DH asks if everything is okay (especially after the false alarm 2 weeks ago). When I talk to my mom, dad, MIL, or anyone else for that matter, they ask about me and how I'm feeling. I know once baby comes, none of them will care as much about ME. Been there, done that. :) I know when they come visit, it's not to see me or DH...it's for DS. And that's perfectly fine! I don't want people making a fuss, but it's nice for once for them to be concerned about me. :) Once baby is born, I am perfectly fine to go back to NOT being the center of attention. That does sound really bad, doesn't it? It's not meant to, I swear!
7. Being pregnant! I loved it with DS, this time I haven't loved it as much, but it's still fun. I would do it all 100 times if I could. I am grateful to be able to have children and carry them. I feel very blessed.
8. Nursing...I love the closeness I felt with DS. I can't wait to experience that with this child.
9. MATERNITY LEAVE! I am soooo looking forward to having 12 weeks off of work!
10. Believe it or not....labor and delivery. It wasn't bad with DS and I enjoyed most of it. I hope to have that same enjoyment again!

Okay, that's it I think. There are so many more things I love about being pregnant (oh did I mention the cleavage? LOVE that) and I can't believe I am that close to being done! WOWZER!!!

I still have a poem I want to post...I am going to get to that at the beginning of the week. :)

Toast and a dream

Toast...This is my new "thing". EVERY morning I have to have a toasted English muffin with butter and jelly on it. Sometimes no jelly and just butter but it MUST have butter. Not sure why. DS is also on the same kick, although he gets whole wheat bread. Sometimes I have my muffin and then some toast just like DS. I have been FAMISHED in the mornings lately. Oh my, it's been bad. But my English muffin with a yogurt and a banana and a big ol glass of water...YUM, YUM! My pizza addiction has subsided as has my Mexican. We had Mexican last night so I'm good for a couple of weeks now, I think.

Speaking of yogurt....I think it's really helping with my, um...how do I say this...yeast problem. I was diagnosed nearly 2 weeks ago as having a yeast infection when I was in triage. They gave me meds but as of last weekend it didn't seem all the way gone (I know this is WAAAAAAAAYYYYY TMI for some of you...SORRY!) with lots of itching still. So I got on a yogurt kick and the last few days all seems well. Whew! Thank goodness. I need to keep this up so I don't have the troubles with thrush (NOT in my mouth or DS... but on my nipples from nursing) this time. I WANT to be very successful at breastfeeding this child. With DS, I didn't have a problem making milk...it was the thrush. I had 2 very painful rounds of it and then during the 2nd round ended up with mastitis in both breasts. Can we say miserable? Yep, that was me...with an 8 week old. So, I'm REALLY hoping to avoid that stuff this time around.

A dream.....last night I finally had a dream about the sex of the baby. I haven't had one in FOREVER. And in my dream this baby is a GIRL! I have not had any boy dreams for a VERY long time (since the first trimester I think). So yes now I am wondering is this a girl? Oh I can't wait to find out. At this point, less than 7 weeks (maybe even sooner!)

Although, I am kinda worried. DS does NOT want it to be a girl. He wants it to be a boy. I know I'm not the only 2nd time mommy out there that has this fear, but it's a true worry. I know he's going to love it no matter what and I really hope he doesn't even care. But man, my heart just hurts when he says NO, I WANT IT TO BE A BOY!!!

I have a poem I want to post, but it's kinda long. No, I didn't write it, but I am going to put it in DS baby book. It's such a sweet poem and very fitting for us right now. I'll try to get that up this weekend. And pictures to come on Sunday!

Have a great weekend everyone! :)

I can't see my feet anymore..

Sigh....

The other night in the shower I looked down and all I could see was belly. I can't see my feet anymore. Even last week, I could still see my feet, but not anymore as of this week. I went to the doctor this past Friday and I had only gained .4 in the 3 weeks since I had been there, so I might be growing, but it's ALL baby and belly! Sunday I will be 32 weeks and will take pictures then for you all to see. Seven weeks from tomorrow (Thursday) is d-day! At least in Amanda-land. :) I am about 95% sure my doctor will agree with me on that date, unless baby comes on it's own before then. My new "vision" is to wake up on April 24th and already be in labor on my own....so then everyone would still be here, but I wouldn't technically need the induction. Power of positive thinking...I'm thinking and believing it so we'll see if it happens! :)

Sorry I have been MIA for so long. I was off Thursday and Friday last week and did my best to stay away from a computer the whole time. I did pretty darn good! But now, I am really behind in my reading!! I hope to catch up later this week/weekend.

Someone asked me the other day if I had any dreams about the baby b/c their dreams were always right when it came to the sex of the baby. Then a few other people told me the same thing...their dreams were always right. The last dream that I can remember having said it's a girl. In my dream, it was a girl and we called everyone to tell them it was a girl, but we didn't have a name picked out so then we called them back 48 hours later to tell them the name. In the dream, we couldn't be discharged from the hospital b/c we hadn't named the baby girl yet! Thank god that won't be an issue now!!

DS told me the other day "Mommy, I can't wait to see what the baby is!" It just melts my heart when he says that kind of stuff. I had an Uppercase Living party a couple Friday nights ago and my friend brought her nearly 6 month old baby girl with her. DS, of course, HAD to hold her and he was so cute with her! He played with her on the floor and in the Johnny Jump-up. I really think he is going to do great with the baby. I can't wait to see how he reacts to him/her.

I had "the talk" with MIL that DH was supposed to have with her regarding her taking DS away the week she is off which is also the same week we plan on being baby's first week. She said to me "I thought I would take X home with me that week." I immediately said, "well my mom said the same thing and I'll tell you what I told her. NO." I told her our reasonings and she understood and said "I just wanted to help." I told her we appreciate the help and we will take any OTHER help that she would be willing to give us....ie prepared meals or gift cards for meals to get out (our favorite is Cracker Barrel). So we'll see. I'm going to call her and see if she would come up at the end of that week and help out. I doubt she can/will, but I will at least extend the offer. She thought we would want to bond with the baby and I said yes we do, but DS needs to bond as well. That is the only week that DH will be home so it's the only week all of us will be together. She understood, thankfully. I was irritated with DH b/c he was supposed to talk to her a month ago. But, alas, he didn't. He's been so busy lately, I'm lucky he has time to eat dinner with us every night!

I don't know about any of you, but I am SICK OF WINTER!!! (check local listings!) Sunday we had the BEST day here...it was 67 outside, sunny...glorious!!! DS played outside all day, I took the dog for a walk, DS rode his bike...oh it was great! It was such a tease! And today? Cold. We had ice and snow yesterday. I am soooo over all of this. It has to get warm soon, right? RIGHT?!?!? :) I am dying to wear capris again. I'm sick of the same few pairs of pants. And my feet now swell at very regular intervals so I'm ready for sandals weather...although I'll probably just be wearing my crocs all the time.

Well, I think that's it from me today. Have a great Wednesday and rest of the week!!!